Ramblings on Different Topics

Easter dinner has been over for hours. The dishes are piled up in the sink waiting to be washed. Leftovers have crudely been crammed into the fridge awaiting their slaughter at breakfast. The sounds of family snoring is echoing throughout the house and the cat is still farting pink string from the Easter baskets.

But with Bunny Day over and all of the things that need to be done to close the day (dishes, kicking out visiting family, and reorganizing the overstuffed fridge) I still can't sleep.

Easter Facts you wished you knew at dinner.
I'm not sure about you. But I could have used some interesting topics to hear over Easter Dinner instead of politics, money, and who was going to clean the bathroom after Uncle Jack made his yearly visit to my porcelain throne. So keep these thoughts in mind for next year's Easter Dinner table topics.

• The Easter Bunny originally started out as the Easter Hare. But since the bunny was a more recognizable name and easier to fit on a greeting card the change was made. Bunnies are signs of fruitfulness and fertility. CAUTION - Bringing up this topic might be uncomfortable to your family members still awaiting their acceptance to the Jerry Springer Show's Which one of these 100 Men is the Babies Daddy?
  
• For many years there was complaints that the Easter holiday was slipping away from its true religious sense. But many chocolate companies were having a hard time marketing their Crucifix Chocolate. The test marketers for the Chocolate Crucifix had a hard time trying to eat the product. Thankfully the companies stayed away from the idea of making each cross cherry filled.

My Easter memories have stuck with me over the years. Thankfully I have grown out of the age that I have to go and visit the Easter Bunny and get my picture taken. I'm not sure if it was out of torture or if my folks were unaware, but my Easter picture with the rabbit was torture. The rabbit always reeked of alcohol. I wasn't sure if his legs were bouncing from all the hopping of delivering presents OR if he was going through withdrawl from his last hit.

So before the overdose of Egg Salad kicks in...
Hopefully you are reading this the day AFTER Easter.

So before you take your kids to get their Easter picture with the rabbit, make sure that Micheal Jackson isn't in your home town moonlighting with yet another freaky mask.

Dishes will be their later, but if your family refuses to leave, I recommend breaking dishes on the floor or where ever you can throw them. Begin crying and screaming about how no one in the family understands or listens to you. When the family members start leaving the room to find something else more entertaining to do...Mission Complete. Grab the paper and enjoy the peace and quiet. And to keep everyone thrown off track, break an occasional cup and mutter something about how ungrateful everyone is.

HOPPY EASTER. May your toilets not overflow with those other chocolate treats.